Translated from an article in Tamil...

 Focus your mind at one point, to understand the below lines..

Only focussing helps you to understand the in depth meaning of these words said by experienced scholars.

Do not worry about the people who doesn’t have the heart to bless you..

There will always be some people around you to criticize whatever you do.. 

Do not consider it..

Just walk towards your goal

Learn just one thing..

Every human being is

Individual genes

Individual births

Individual souls 

There will be separate pleasures for them. 

There will be qualities. 

That's the way their journey is also designed. 

Do not torment yourself by ordering them to be perfect. 

Let them go until they go. 

They will go and come back after having an experience

Until then you have to be patient. 

Do not ponder over the path they took, is it good? Is it bad? 

They will know the truth only if they themselves realize that. 

They will not like you if you tell that fact, in advance.

This is the philosophical truth of life.. 

Their qualities and deeds will be based on their past piety..

That is,

Although born with,

Despite being friends,

Husband, or a wife,

Despite having children,

Although the grandsons or granddaughters,

Whatever the relationship,

Their innate nature never changes

Their destiny is to do what they came to do. 

Can you tweak this ...? Stand aside and have fun!

Do not fall into the trap of affection and earn a bad name for advising.

Experience is their Guru..

They will correct themselves 

only if they have the destiny to change themselves 

after that experience. 

Until then be patient..  

Even if they artificially create a quality and show love to you, 

one day the real self will be revealed, 

who they are? And what is their character? 

Just be mature to accept anything....

We are born into the world where we come and go.

We are doing exactly what we are assigned to do. 

We cannot do anything other than that. 

Do not lament that I have been deceived by having boundless love. 

God has set limit even to the sea.

Sometimes, the sea transcends beyond the boundaries set by the Lord.  

The same way, sometimes humans manifest themselves like the nature 

and go beyond the limit set by the nature.

Get used to living the way you think you should. 

Whether it is good or bad, 

you will have an experience. 

You can edit it yourself..

Learn to face it yourself, whether it is pleasure or pain. 

Do not look for a partner to share it with. 

If one is born into this universe to share in your joys and sorrows, 

they will surely travel with you without abandoning you.

It depends on your nature of birth. 

If that happens, then they will be with you in any situation

Whether you are a woman or a man, 

develop the energy to face the coming suffering.

Increase your trust in God more than you trust in man.

And your tears, your anxiety will also make you feel weak... 

Nothing is going to change because of you crying and becoming tired. 

Anyways, you have to carry your own burden.

"It's easier for you to accept than to cry."

That’s courage and self-confidence

Realize the fact that it makes a man live in the world. 

Realize that no suffering will come to you once you reach this maturity..

Dreams..

Dreams.. Some make us successful and some are destructive.. Some dreams predicts all about future...

Even i get lot of dreams.. In my home Vasanth anna and me are dreamers.. Especially we both get dreams which predict future.. I would like to share such dreams here..

I remember an incident happened when i was studying in school, Vino anna was studying in engineering college at Coimbatore and Vasanth anna was studying in Loyola College, Chennai. My Appa was returning  to Chennai from Coimbatore after attending Parents Teachers Meeting conducted for Vino anna at Coimbatore, in Government bus, while we three Amma, Vasanth Anna and i was sleeping at home in the night.  Suddenly, Vasanth anna started shouting "Grab it, Grab it, it's falling, grab it". Hearing this Amma and i woke up from sleep and saw Vasanth Anna sitting in his bed with a terrific look.  Then, we gave him some water and told him to sleep. 

Next day morning Appa reached home and gave his broken wrist watch to Amma. When Amma asked what happened, he said " feel happy, atleast you got the watch" and narrated what happened to that watch.  As he was coming back home in bus, keeping his hand as pillow in the rods of window and he was sleeping. Suddenly he had heard someone shouting "Grab it, grab it, it's falling, grab it" and he woke up from sleep to see his watch was falling down on the road from bus window.  He immediately informed driver to stop bus and took the watch which fell down. Hearing this we were surprised and shared the incidents happened at home.. Like this there are so many other dreams he dreamt which were a fortune teller dreams..

To say about my dreams.. When i am in a state of confusion i always dream of getting stuck in Tsunami and star wars. At times i get dreams which i always feel i shouldn't get such dreams again in my life, but, unfortunately it repeats. It is not the dreams, that disturb me but the sequence of incidents followed by the dream that disturbs. I dream of someone getting married and i will meet a pmmerson whom i haven't met for many years but some relative or friend who is very close to heart. And the day after my night dream i would see a moth in my room and tears roll from my eyes without any reason. Also i would feel a spirit crossing me. 

If all these happen in sequence, that would definitely end up in death of  the person in the family of the person i saw in my dreams. After i hear the death news, my mind would automatically calms down.

After my Amma's death, I asked and prayed to God, that Amma should come in my dreams everyday. To my surprise my Amma comes in my dreams every night and i started to enjoy my dreams being with my Amma.. 

Dreams to be followed..

International Brother's Day - My brothers..

My Brothers.. 

I wasn't aware of this international brother's day till i received the above picture from my elder brother Vasanth.. That's a wonderful morphing pic created by him.. This picture reminded me of the real picture of us.. I would like to share that picture too at this moment..

Woww... Isn't it lovely.. This picture was taken in my first birthday...look at me... Crying.. May be my brothers could have made something to stop me crying.. Whenever i see this photo i always think life could have remained the same.. Those were lovely days.. I still remember the days how my brothers took care of me like a little princess.. I do remember a day when i was studying grade I, our Amma went to buy provisions to a shop which is bit far from our house. She was delayed that day, and I started crying. You know what my brothers did.. They started consoling me, they washed my face, changed my frock, combed my hair, powdered my face, kept bindi and made me ready thinking at least my Amma would reach before they finish all these make up.. But unfortunately Amma didn't reach home.. So they both held my little hand on either side of me and took me to the bus stop where my Amma would reach.

I do remember the days we went to school together. I was studying grade I and my brothers were in Grade 5 and Grade 4. Most of the days, after lunch i never went to my class. My class teacher used to search me and reach any one of my brothers class to see me sleeping on my brother's lap.. Lovely days.. 

If i need to talk about my teenage, my brothers were super protective. Vasanth anna and I used to walk to school and Vino anna goes in cycle. I never felt the tiredness of walking to school as Vasanth anna tells lot of stories. I need not go for movie, Vasanth anna brings every scene in front of my eyes. 

Vino anna.. Doesn't speak much but his love was always felt with his authoritative commands of protection. I remember a day when i was in Grade II and Vino anna was in Grade 7. Our house was in first floor and that evening i was standing in front of my friend house in ground floor with a skirt worn above a long petticoat (those days the so called innerware slip is called as petticoat stitched out of thick white cotton cloth) and without a top over my petticoat which looked like a sleeveless top. I was happily playing around and my Vino anna returned home, seeing me in that costume he called me to home and the moment i entered the house i received a tight slap in my face. May be that day it was painful but now that's the one reason behind my proper professional dressing. 

As all other children, we were also very naughty.. But our naughtiness was always when our Appa and Amma goes out together and leave us at home.. That's the time the engineering skill of Vino anna and cooking skill of Vasanth anna would come out. We explore the house and the kitchen.. Result of which is loss of wheat, rice, maida flours, amma's watch, old radio and few other electronic gadgets.  Though we all are hand in glove, but because of my father's tough tone i would become the approver. Even though my brothers get scoldings they had never showed hatred towards me.

We were the role models in our police colony.  I have heard one aunty saying that she corrects her clock by seeing my Vasanth anna leaving for school. And because of my Vino anna my colony boys had never turned towards me or my friends to tease.

If i start to say about my brothers this post will be a never ending post. So let this be the introductory post and more to come in future..

The life of a girl with brothers are always colorful and bright.  A girl with brothers can never become an orphan.. 

I Love my brothers.. 

AMMA

Hello my dear friends...

Great to meet you all again with my post... i was thinking what  to write in my blog... where to start, how to start and what can be my first topic... the moment i thought about my FIRST topic.. The only image popped out is my "AMMA"..

AMMA... it's a magical word.. not just the word.. that one word has everything within it.. The first look i remember about my Amma is always with a sweet smile in her lips, a medium sized maroon kumkum in her forehead and in the parting of the hair, neatly plaited hair and the dripping water in the end of the plaited hair, serenely draped saree, and the pleasant voice... 

She was a perfect wife for my dad.. they are a made for each other couple. Amma, didn't speak a word against my Appa until her children got married.. i have never seen her sit idle until she was 62 years.  Amma, before her wedding she could have been a good  friend to all.. as far i understood from the old photographs and from the incidents shared by my uncles and aunties my amma lived her life like a princess, though she hailed from a poor family.  She didn't know to cook or do any house hold works.  She learnt everything only after she married my Appa.. Though she learnt everything late, she had never made any mistake in raising all 3 of us.

She always kept herself busy. Until we were school goers, she used to raise up early morning, prepare food, get us ready to school, sent appa to work, then she will start with her routine cleaning, washing duties till we reach back home in the evening.. After we reach home, evening snacks, studies, dinner all were taken care by her without any tiredness...

When i was in my college days, she was the best friend of mine.. We talk everything under the sky.. i share all the stories and incidents.. she never interrupted my stories. Silently listen to my stories and then guided me with what is right and wrong. She taught me to love people without any expectations, she taught me to be patient in all situations. She taught me to respect everyone.

Amma, when she was in her second childhood, she was completely transformed as a baby of 5-6 years who is adamant in everything to get her work done.  She is so fond of sweets and snacks.  Last year, same time when i met her, she expressed her desire to eat her favourite sweet and snacks. That was a great wonder to me when she asked me to get what she wanted, because amma had never expressed what she wanted in her life, she always took care of all our needs. she was happy fulfilling our needs.

After all these, she spoke to me many things... may be she would have felt that, that was the last conversation with her daughter.. she spoke about all 3 of us.. she again insisted me to be patient, whatsoever situation may be. Amma told me to take care of my family well.. she told me to maintain a good relationship with my brothers.. she reconfirmed that all her 3 children family life are safe, secured and happy and said "Everything seems to be good, and hence forth there will not be any disturbance from me, all be good and safe".

That was the last conscious words spoken by my Amma to me in person.. later i saw her in hospital on 24th May 2019, a 72 year lady turned out to be a 10 year old kid. Amma was not stable.. she was struggling between 10 yrs, 40 yrs and 72 yrs. Scolded like 72, Adamant like 10 and Ordered like when she was in her 40s. 

On 4th June, she started to prepare all of us for her last journey, she was taken to hospital on an emergency and on 5th June afternoon she had cardiac arrest yet she didn't leave as she was waiting to meet her elder son.  She never made us feel guilty, she did not made us think that we were not with her while she takes her last breath.  Though she is almost lost conscious, her heart was beating till all her children reach her.  She did not leave this world without the notice of none... When we 3 children and our partners surrounded, her soul departed this world.

Today, "who we are" is all because of you AMMA.. The life we live is not by the knowledge we gained in this world, it's all because of the LOVE AND GUIDANCE you are still providing us.  Though you are not physically present with us, your PRESENCE is always felt by all of us in every deed we do.

We prefer to be born as your children again and again. 

Love you Amma.. 

My First Blog in English

Hello All...

I am Maria Merlin Vidya.. i started to scribble and called it as poem.. in tamil "Kavithai" in the year 2008 when i had hours of free time... 2016 changed many things in my life and that's when i stopped thinking about lot many things..

Now.. this lock down woke me up from the deep sleep... my life... none other.. my hubby reminded me about Natchatraa... let me try to pen up few of my life experiences and the moments i learnt what life is all about....

Hope to get your comments to boost my writing skills...

See you all soon in my next post...

Love you all...